Thursday, October 24, 2013


How many people out there watch Barbie movies?

Well, I do believe Kiri has mentioned watching them once (a song post, one of the songs was from one of the movies), but other than that ... anyone else?

I have watched most of the Barbie movies ... and have written sequels for Nutcracker and Swan Lake. I own the Clara barbie. (Mostly because I LOVE nutcrackers. Didn't like Barbie's rendition very much - Sugar Plum PRINCESS???? Honestly? - but I did hunt down and get Clara barbie. Wanted a Nutcracker Ken, too ... but by the time the prices dropped after Christmas, all we could find were the dark skinned ones ... and I wanted them to match. So she's spent the last however many years it's been since I got her only and lonely ... well I did get her a best friend when I was thirteen - part of my birthday cake - but she was missing her Nutcracker - well she had my entire Nutcracker collection to hang out with but ... still. Except my Grandma got me a really nice Prince Ken for a project of mine, so she's happy again ... I'm rambling. And overusing elipses. Hey - maybe I should introduce you to them someday!)

Tabetha in my birthday cake. she must have gotten really cold in that cake, because her legs have been permanently blue ever since.
One of my favorite parts of Barbie movies are the outtakes/gag reel/bloopers. Barbie is animated - that means there aren't any REAL bloopers (unless you count the really weird ones on Shrek the Third where all the animation was goofing up - or that one for the Lion King where they took the messed up lines of Simba's actor and animated them ...), but they add bloopers, they script them, voice them, and animate them. It's hilarious!

And no, I'm didn't come here to talk about Barbie Movies, Nutcracker Kens, and Barbie Bloopers.

No, I came to share some bloopers of my own.

The following are from Sew, It's a Quest, and I wrote most of them back towards the beginning of summer when I was bored. I was going through my purse (honestly, I carry WAY too much stuff around in my purse - three notebooks, at least one of my published works, random paper, some books for me to read, and often Andrea Android), and discovered my bloopers when I was pulling out the Worldbuilding notebook to make up some interesting creatures for my Sci-Fi NaNo (Yes, folks, be excited! And I am overusing parentheses now ...). Not sure why I put bloopers with the worldbuilidng, but sometimes my brain is weird.

I have included the chapter title so that everyone with the book can pull it out and compare to the original.

Chapter 22:
Robin: (Whirling on Eric) What are you doing here! Skewwood forest is no place for a Quince! I mean Prince! Doranna! (Storms off)

Chapter 2
Robert: (Shakes head) Never mind. I have - (Reaches into pocket, face goes blank) Wait ... where's my list?
Robin: (Eyes widen in mock disbelief) What? You lost your list? I don't believe it!
Robert: (On his knees looking under every shrub and bush) Not helping Robin!
Robin: I suppose such a momentous occasion calls for - hey, maybe I could let you borrow my list!
Robert: You lost your list.
Robin: Weeeeeellll .... (Sees paper on the ground behind him) Ah, there it is! You dropped it!

Chapter 3
Robert: (In a loud whisper) Robin! Robin! Wake up! (pulls away pillow to find Robin ... missing) Robin? (Flying pillow hits him in the side of his head)

Chapter 22
Eric: (Catches snake, but it slips out of his hand) Ahh!
Robin: (Jumps up) Did it bite you! (panicking) Oh! Eric, Speak to me! Are you hurt? Are you -
Eric: Robin. I'm fine. (Picks snake back up) It's a cloth snake on a string.
Robin: Oh. I knew that.

Chapter 9
Doranna: Then I wilt have him - do I have to say dismantled? It sounds so barbaric!
Casperl: It's what the script says.
Doranna: But why not dismayed? Or dismounted? Or dismalled?
Robin: I like dismantled.
Doranna: (Sighs) Then I wilt have him dismantled.

Chapter 10
Robert: (Takes a few steps toward Madeleine's painting. Suddenly stops and and puts out hand) Where's the wall again?
Robin: (Rolls eyes) Keep walking!

Chapter 16
Robin: I've a feeling you know which of these trees are the best for climbing. Which is your favorite?
Maid Marian: That one. (points) Why?
Robin: Nothing. (Suddenly sends Maid Marian's sword flying towards the tree. Hits it - but sword then falls out)
Robert: Weren't you supposed to get her sword stuck in the tree?
Robin: Oh, hush.

Chapter 3
(Various members of cast and crew surround a tree ... staring at Auroren stuck in said tree)
Random swordsman: Weren't you supposed to get MY sword stuck up there.
Robin: Yep.
Director: Well, get it down. We'll rerun the scene.
Robin: How? I'm an actress - not a stuntwoman. Climbing telephone pole trees are not in my contract. (Spins on stunt double) Wren - you get it down!
Wren: (snorts, shakes head) Uh. Nope. Not in the script, not in my contract, either.
Robin: Well then ... where's a ladder ... someone call a fire truck! Um ... send in the monkeys!

So ... what do you think? Should I write up more and post them another day? Do my other three books? Fire Robin's actress and get one that isn't so stuck-up?


  1. Awesome! I should do this for my story, it sounds like a good way to unwind after NaNo!

  2. Eep, I loved Barbie movies when I was younger. Mostly Swan Lake, Rapunzel, and the Princess and the Pauper one. That one was my favorite. I'm just like you... you're just like me... It's something everyone can see...

    Hee hee, I enjoyed reading your bloopers. It sounds like lots went wrong with the swordplay. I hope no one got hurt! Maybe you should add a disclaimed with your books. xD

    P.S. Yes, my book will eventually sometime this year be made available for kindle/nook/iPad/phones/whatever other gadgets are out there. First I want to get the paperback taken care of, then I'll go into the process of getting it ready for eReaders.
    Lulu does send unusually large boxes, now that I think about it...

    1. I should let you read my sequel to Swan Lake ... except that it's in a notebook. Oh ... that was interesting. I completely expanded the backstory and plot. And everything you think you knew on the surface, wrong. I added a few characters - and found Maria, who, if you look real hard in the party scene at the end of the movie, isn't there. My personal favorite Barbie Movie is Diamond Castle. I actually rewrote that one too ...

      Nope, no one was harmed. Prop swords you know. Mostly harmless. Just like earth.

  3. Hahaha--this reminds me of when Bro and I used to write "blooper scripts" for LOTR. We'd give them to my cousin, who would then draw comic strips to go with our dialogue. Perhaps I should post a few of the better scripts on my blog sometime....
    (--and I accidentally wrote "me cousin" at first. Methinks all the Gaelic* characters I've been developing are starting to influence my grammar. :-P)

    I never watched any Barbie movies, but I did collect Barbie dolls in my early teens. I wanted to get one of each--Barbie and all her sisters, and all their friends and "boyfriends"--an ambitious goal, to be sure, and one I sadly didn't reach before I outgrew them. But I have the Wee Folk** to keep me company, so it's all good...and they don't take up quite as much room, neither. ;-)

    QUOTE: "So ... what do you think? Should I write up more [bloopers] and post them another day? Do my other three books? Fire Robin's actress and get one that isn't so stuck-up? "

    Bloopers are always fun--both to write and to read. I say go for it!
    As for Robin's actress--I'd give her fifty lashes with a wet noodle. And maybe her prissy stunt-double, too. :-P

    God bless,
    ~"Tom Wild Rose"~

    *Gaelic = A collective term for people of Irish or Scottish extraction. Also a reference to a tribe of Men (Humans) in my fantasy series, whose ancestry is basically northern European and who speak mainly Gaelic.

    **Wee Folk = Originally attributed to Fairies, Leprechauns and the like, who were thought to be no more than six inches high. The term has been expanded to include dolls, especially miniature dolls of 1/12th (one inch equals one foot) scale.

    ~Tom's Dictionary of Whacked-out Terms and Old Family Sayings

    1. Yes, post your LotR bloopers, please!

      I'd do as you suggest with Robin's actress I but I fear legal issues. And actually, Wren's not that bad, she just doesn't take her orders from her actress.

  4. I've never watched Barbie movies. Just not my cup of tea. :)

    THESE BLOOPERS WERE SO MUCH FUN TO READ!!!!!!! My favorites were the pillow fight, and the 'dismantled' one.

    1. I'm quite fond of the dismantled one myself. And the monkeys ...

  5. Yup. That was me. Mentioning Barbie film songs. I like the older movies better than the newer ones as they *ahem* just tend to be too much dumb. The first four were probably the best. Oh, and Twelve Dancing Princesses is good. But A Fairy Secret? Haven't seen it, and my life is that much better. ;)

    Ahhh!! Yes!!! I love the bloopers!! Epic!!

    Writing bloopers for your books... awesomeness. Double super. Wondrously epic! And side-splitting hilarious!!! ... I should try this sometime...

    1. I've seen most of the Barbie movies, but Fairy Secret wasn't one of them. I've seen Fashion Fairy Tale though ... That was interesting. Honestly, Barbie doesn't always have the best of plots, and sometimes their emphases aren't quite applaudible, but they aren't always bad, either. As I mentioned on Abby's comment, my favorite is Diamond Castle, and that's a newer one. It's a beautiful story of friendship, and there are some lessons that Christians can take from it. There are some scenes that make me shake my head ... but Barbie is Barbie ... I also liked Thumbelina, which is nothing like the fairy tale, but has a pro-life message. I ought to do a post sometime about my opinions of the barbie movies ...

      Yes, you should try out bloopering. It is wonderously fun.


Hi! Now that you've read my post, hast thou any opinions that thou wouldst like to share? I'd love to hear them!

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