What Makes a Wise Counselor?

(Titus 2:3)  The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

These are Paul's instructions to Titus telling him what the elder women of the church should be like in order to be good examples to the younger members. What do they mean? How can I apply them to myself.

I will answer the second first. I can use this list of counselor traits to find someone to make my role model in my own life. Of course, I must take into consideration that no one is perfect, and so I will have to make allowances as I search for my role model. Now, let's look at this list and see what I need to look for.

First, Paul states that a wise counselor must have behavior as becometh holiness. He then goes on to explain. They can't be false accusers. In other words, they must tell the truth and not try to shift blame to where it doesn't belong. They should try to keep peace and you should be able to trust them when they say something.

Second, they should not be given to too much wine. That's pretty self-explanatory.

Third, they must be teachers of good things. This doesn't mean that they have to be teachers, although it is a good idea if they are, but what they have to say, and pass down to us younger generations, ought to be good. He goes on to explain what he wants the older women to teach. First, to be sober, which means not given to too much emotion (or wine). Someone who teaches you to be moderate. Second, to love their husbands and children. Pretty self explanatory, however, you may be asking, "But I don't have a husband or children???!!!" In that case, apply that to your parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents, nieces and nephews ... basically all of your family. Your family is your training ground for life, and if you can't get along with them, what make you think you'll get along with your husband and children.

Fourth to be discreet. This means that she doesn't constantly place herself in the center of attention. In fact, you might hardly realize she's there.

Fifth to be caste. That's pretty much to be loyal to your husband or future husband.

Sixth, to be obedient to their husbands. Hey, don't stone me, this is Paul saying this, not I. Yes, wives need to be obedient to their husbands, but, no, we're not their slaves! Husbands have their own instructions, and, true, it would be easier for us to obey them they followed them. However it's also easier for them to follow their instructions if we follow ours.

So that's the sort of woman I need to find. I happen to be lucky, and God has blessed me with many older women in my life that pretty much fill this role. I am aware that many others don't have as many good role models about. My advise to those people is this: find someone, and ask God to help you. He will help you to find a good role model, because he has told you to find one. God never tells you to do anything you can't do.