Friday, February 10, 2012

The Believing Husbands

I actually know of three versions of this Fairy Tale. They all begin the same, it's the endings that are different, and the titles. I think this is the silliest ending. I got the text from here.

Once upon a time there dwelt in the land of Erin a young man who was seeking a wife, and of all the maidens round about none pleased him as well as the only daughter of a farmer. The girl was willing and the father was willing, and very soon they were married and went to live at the farm. By and bye the season came when they must cut the peats and pile them up to dry, so that they might have fires in the winter. So on a fine day the girl and her husband, and the father and his wife all went out upon the moor.

So boy has already married girl. Obviously, this is not a romance Fairy Tale. It's a humor one.

They worked hard for many hours, and at length grew hungry, so the young woman was sent home to bring them food, and also to give the horses their dinner. When she went into the stables, she suddenly saw the heavy pack-saddle of the speckled mare just over her head, and she jumped and said to herself:

"That's in the wrong spot. I need to put it away ..."

'Suppose that pack-saddle were to fall and kill me, how dreadful it would be!' and she sat down just under the pack-saddle she was so much afraid of, and began to cry.

Honey girl, (her name's Else, by the way, according to the other two versions) you really ought to chose a different place to sit, than right under what you're scared of.

Now the others out on the moor grew hungrier and hungrier.

And Else got thirstier and thirstier, because she was crying, you know.

'What can have become of her?' asked they, and at length the mother declared that she would wait no longer, and must go and see what had happened.

Ah, mom will go talk the girl out of her silliness.

As the bride was nowhere in the kitchen or the dairy, the old woman went into the stable, where she found her daughter weeping bitterly.

And making an utter fool out of herself.

'What is the matter, my dove?' and the girl answered, between her sobs:

What's the matter, dear mother, is that your daughter is being foolish.

'When I came in and saw the pack-saddle over my head, I thought how dreadful it would be if it fell and killed me,' and she cried louder than before.

And the mother gives her a Look and says, "as if that's gonna happen. You know, it will happen if you keep sitting there. Come on, the horses are hungry, and so are our menfolk ..."

The old woman struck her hands together: 'Ah, to think of it! if that were to be, what should I do?' and she sat down by her daughter, and they both wrung their hands and let their tears flow.

Evidently, Mom is just as silly as the daughter

'Something strange must have occurred,' exclaimed the old farmer on the moor, who by this time was not only hungry, but cross. 'I must go after them.' And he went and found them in the stable.

Dad will set it straight .... Hopefully.

'What is the matter?' asked he.

What is the matter, dear sir, is that your wife and daughter are being silly. Tell them to get up and start  cooking.

'Oh!' replied his wife, 'when our daughter came home, did she not see the pack-saddle over her head, and she thought how dreadful it would be if it were to fall and kill her.'

"Well, then," says the father, "why then are you both sitting directly under it? Get up and get me some lunch!"

'Ah, to think of it!' exclaimed he, striking his hands together, and he sat down beside them and wept too.

And Dad is just as silly as his wife and daughter.

As soon as night fell the young man returned full of hunger, and there they were, all crying together in the stable.
'What is the matter?' asked he.

Young man, you'd better have your head on straight, or I'll ... or I'll ... 

Give me a second while I try and figure out how to threaten a Fairy Tale Character ...

'When thy wife came home,' answered the farmer, 'she saw the pack-saddle over her head, and she thought how dreadful it would be if it were to fall and kill her.'

Oh, I know! I'll send in a Evil Fairy who'll turn you all into frogs! Wait ... wrong Fairy Tale.

'Well, but it didn't fall,' replied the young man, and he went off to the kitchen to get some supper, leaving them to cry as long as they liked.

Nevermind, young man has his head on straight, I don't need to punish him

The next morning he got up with the sun, and said to the old man and to the old woman and to his wife:

"You are the three silliest people I've ever met. However did I end up marrying your daughter?"

'Farewell: my foot shall not return to the house till I have found other three people as silly as you,' and he walked away till he came to the town, and seeing the door of a cottage standing open wide, he entered. No man was present, but only some women spinning at their wheels.

And they turned out to be fairies who sent him off on a wondrous adventure full of ... sorry, wrong Fairy Tale.

'You do not belong to this town,' said he.

That's an interesting thing to say, young man. Whatever made you answer that way?

'You speak truth,' they answered, 'nor you either?'

Which leads me to wonder where they belong to, because the Fairy Tale gives no clue.

'I do not,' replied he, 'but is it a good place to live in?'

You thinking about settling down, young man?

The women looked at each other.

As if they had never seen each other before. 

'The men of the town are so silly that we can make them believe anything we please,' said they.

Well! This should be interesting!

'Well, here is a gold ring,' replied he, 'and I will give it to the one amongst you who can make her husband believe the most impossible thing,' and he left them.

The young man apparently agrees. Wonder where he got the ring ... his wedding ring maybe ...

As soon as the first husband came home his wife said to him:
'Thou art sick!'

And I'm thinking about how men around here never believe you about them being sick, even if he is sick ...

'Am I?' asked he.

No, sir, you are not, your wife is taking advantage of you to win a ring.

'Yes, thou art,' she answered; 'take off thy clothes and lie down.'

"Can I have supper first ..."

So he did, and when he was in his bed his wife went to him and said:

"This is all a joke!"

'Thou art dead.'

... dead?

'Oh, am I?' asked he.

Oh, he's talking. Good. He's not really dead. For a second, there, I actually believed her ...

'Thou art,' said she; 'shut thine eyes and stir neither hand nor foot.'

"And don't talk, either."

And dead he felt sure he was.

And silly he will soon feel sure he is.

Soon the second man came home, and his wife said to him:

After the first husband I can see him believing anything!

'You are not my husband!'

She decided she doesn't like him anymore, I guess.

'Oh, am I not?' asked he.

It must be really easy for the women to get divorce in this place ... all they have to do is tell their husbands that they aren't married anymore ...

Not really a good thing ...

'No, it is not you,' answered she, so he went away and slept in the wood.

But, still, that isn't as hard to believe as being told that you're dead!

When the third man arrived his wife gave him his supper, and after that he went to bed, just as usual. The next morning a boy knocked at the door, bidding him attend the burial of the man who was dead, and he was just going to get up when his wife stopped him.

Wonder what she's planning, since she didn't post her silly story as soon as he walked in the door ...

'Time enough,' said she, and he lay still till he heard the funeral passing the window.

I wonder if it's the funeral of the man who's just pretending to be dead.

'Now rise, and be quick,' called the wife, and the man jumped out of bed in a great hurry, and began to look about him.

I wonder if his name was Jack ... 

'Why, where are my clothes?' asked he.

Ummm .....

'Silly that you are, they are on your back, of course,' answered the woman.


'Are they?' said he.

At least the funeral seems to be an all-man affair ....

'They are,' said she, 'and make haste lest the burying be ended before you get there.'

I'm actually a tad bit worried about this woman.

Then off he went, running hard, and when the mourners saw a man coming towards them with nothing on but his nightshirt, they forgot in their fright what they were there for, and fled to hide themselves. And the naked man stood alone at the head of the coffin.

At least he has a nightshirt on ...

Very soon a man came out of the wood and spoke to him.

The man who's convinced he's not his wife's husband ...

'Do you know me?'

Apparently they aren't aware of their wive's friendships.

'Not I,' answered the naked man. 'I do not know you.'

I wonder if he knows the man in the coffin ....

'But why are you naked?' asked the first man.

Because, like you, he's very silly and will believe anything his wife tells him.

'Am I naked? My wife told me that I had all my clothes on,' answered he.

And you believe everything your wife tells you? Wait, I forgot, you do.

'And my wife told me that I myself was dead,' said the man in the coffin.

I was right! The man in the coffin was the first husband!

But at the sound of his voice the two men were so terrified that they ran straight home, and the man in the coffin got up and followed them, and it was his wife that gained the gold ring, as he had been sillier than the other two.

And the young man went home and back to his wife and in-laws and they lived happily ever after. Somehow.

1 comment:

  1. LOL! Thanks for the laugh; I needed that.

    I'm actually more worried about the woman who told her husband he was dead--she was just going to let them bury him alive...?! O.O

    And I'm thinking the three old women were Jedi. That would explain why their weak-minded husbands believed everything they told them....



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