Hello! And welcome to the first day of
February and, thusly, the first chapter of Sew, It's a Quest.
Please note, for those of you who
haven't read it yet, I will be posting a LOT of spoilers, especially
the further along I go. I'll try to keep them to
Sorry
about this post coming a day late. Yesterday was my long day at work,
and honestly, I don't remember a bit of it. It was rainy. I made a
bunch of Mochas and Hot Chocolate and Coffee. There were a lot of
people. I like people … but not in the avalaunces I had yesterday.
Also, I finally have my library card working, and I've been reading a
lot – finally have Seraphina, House of Hades, The
Goosegirl, and a few other books
that I've been meaning to read for a long time. And on Thursday, Ihad the random desire to hunt down a RP game my mom used to playseveral years ago, and to my delight, it was still free, so Idownloaded it. Currently, I've been having fun killing Jack (the
newest member of my party) every few minutes.
Anyways,
excuses aside, let's get to the commentary.
Prologue:
I
have this prologue memorized, and I used to recite it at random
moments. (Though, no, I didn't recite it for the purposes of the trailer) Honestly, it may be my favorite prologue I've ever written.
It's the perfect blend of mysterious and obvious. While it doesn't,
at first, seem to have anything to do with the following story, it's
so short that readers don't complain about it.
Many
of my readers already know that Sew began
as a sequel to Sleeping Beauty entitled
No Longer a Dream. For
it, I had written, as the prologue, my own version of the fairy tale.
When I changed the focus of the story, however, I wanted to keep
Sleeping Beauty at the
core. So I stripped away the story, changed to present tense, and
this is what I got. Believe it or not, I only ever changed one word.
I had used silk to describe two items, so I changed one to lace.
Once
upon a Time, in a land called Bookania …
Since
this was still, at its heart, a fairy tale retelling, I wanted the
beginning of the story to reflect this. The most well known version
of a fairy tale opening is the classic “once upon a time”, so
naturally, that's what I used.
People
have told me that this is a very captivating first chapter, and
despite some minor inconsistencies with the rest of the book (more on
this later) I'm quite fond of it. I've learned its appeal is that I
took the time to establish the twin's characters by establishing
their normal life – on the day that their normal life changes. It's
a neat trick, actually, and something recommended by several writing
websites that I hadn't even heard of at the time I wrote it.
The
Twins
Anyone who's read my blog has probably heard me mention that I adore
twins, and that most of my books include at least one pair (or half a
pair in a few cases). However, while I introduce the twins and their
normal lives in this scene, notice that I didn't, at first, say which
had which. One has a distinctly feminine hobby, while the other is
clearly the boy … right?
But I don't use pronouns. “The fighter” does this while “the
sewer” does something else. Finally, Robin gets a name, but even
then, it's a gender-neutral name. What's going on here? And now Robin
is complaining that their father might be trying to stop this
swordpracticing? Is it because Robin has been spending too much time
doing it … or is the reason much more complicated?
ROBERT!!!!
With this one exclamation, the entire scene twists. Robert is
definitely a boy's name – yet he's the one doing the sewing. Robin
is now given the pronoun her. The girl is the swordfighter!
And then we enter Robin's head for a few moments to find out why –
they have a Fairy Godmother who messed up their gifts – the premise
of their story. And I also slip in a veiled reference to Sleeping
Beauty – a princess with seven fairy godmothers who disappeared
mysteriously.
However, I do have a few issues with this scene. First of all, Robin
mentions “father” as being the one who was trying to make her
stop, but from where I stand now, I know that her father was actually
quite proud of her talent. It was her mother who wanted her to stop.
Second, Robin managed to lose her sword . (Not loose, though, as I
constantly try to spell it …) Honestly, I'm not sure how she
managed that, but I guess because she doesn't have an opponent, and
Robert was involved, it was possible. I shall have to explore that …
And another thing, when Robin snaps at Robert, she rolls over onto
her stomach. And then she rolls over to mutilate a blade of grass (or
glass, if you want to believe a recording I have of me reading it on
my MP3 player). And while this isn't a blatant contradiction, I had
pictured her on her stomach while mutilating that grass. Not on her
back as the text implies.
“I Did wear
your skirts for six months”
In
this chapter, I drop all sorts of interesting hints and tidbits that
won't be explained until chapter six – a clever trick, in my
opinion. One is the fact that they had apparently swapped clothing as
kids, and that Robin looks back at it as a high point in her life.
And then, when they're talking about Robin's suitors, Robert cautions
her to “not get his sword stuck in the ceiling – a caution that
she immediately associates with an “Eric” who “deserved that”
and she obviously doesn't like.
Such a boy, such
a girl.
This a phrase that I wish that I had worked into the story a few more
times, because it's something of an inside joke between the pair, and
they do it to remind themselves that, despite the swapping of their
gifts, Robert is still a guy, and does guy things, and has a guy's
brain, and Robin is still a girl, does girl things, and has a girl's
brain. I kinda like how it was handled in No Longer a Dream, where
it involved Robin pining after a “nice hot bath” but when I
reached that scene in Sew, It's a Quest, it just didn't work.
Meg.
Robin, fed up with being teased about the potential of a suitor,
heads inside to be turned into a princess. Since she was a princess,
she no doubt had servants, so I threw a servant-sounding name out.
And then my mom got a hold of her, and suddenly she had backstory, a
love interest, and direct connections to at least three fairy tales,
a myth … and Shakespeare. Unfortunately, you won't learn about most
of these connections until at least book six. Some will take even
longer.
Annoying
earrings
Of course Robin does turn into a princess quite nicely – even if
she is uncomfortable about it.
I'm not a seamstress like some of my fellow writers, barely
interested in learning the terms connected to clothing, so it should
be no surprise that I don't spend long paragraphs describing
clothing. I give the bare minimums – it's blue satin and has lace
(notice that there isn't any embroidery, however, that is important,
as we'll later discover), and she's annoyed with all of the jewelry
she has to wear, especially the tiara that is “flaunting her status
as princess” and the earrings.
Interestingly, earrings are never mentioned again in connection with
Robin for the remainder of the book – and there's a good reason, as
Robin has since informed me during an interview at Miss Melody's
blog.
King Alexander
and Queen Charlotte
And with a sweeping, generalizing sentence, I present the twin's
parents. Their names are even quite typical for kings and queens.
Enter the
emissary
And at last, anticipation over who the trumpets announce is resolved.
It's Sir Hugh, back from his search for the elusive fairy godmother.
Everyone watches with bated breath – was he successful this time?
Would their prince and princess finally be as they ought?
But before he can out and tell the news, he has to give a detailed
account of his adventures, which makes for a bored Robin and the
mention of a physical sword in the ceiling. Apparently, it's
important, as it's the third time it's been brought up in this
chapter. I like how I unconsciously followed the rule of three with
this matter.
An old lady –
Fairy in disguise!
Just as Sir Hugh gets to the important part, Robert reclaims Robin's
attention. Now, while sharing food with an old woman seems innocent
enough, any reader of fairy tales knows that old women are seldom
what they appear. As is the case with this one. As soon as she
finished eating, she reveals that she's a fairy! The first fairy seen
in years! His mission was a success! Robin and Robert will have their
proper gifts! Right?
Hold on a second, this is only the first chapter of a book. No one
ever gets what they want in the first chapter of a book.
The wrong fairy.
Remember, there's more than one fairy. Unfortunately, the fairy Sir
Hugh met wasn't the twin's Fairy Godmother – but she does know who
the Fairy Godmother is. Fallona. And she knows that the twins will
have to find Fallona on their own.
This bit of news calls Queen Charlotte to question whether or not
this was really a fairy – but Sir Hugh does have proof – when the
finished talking, she turned into a young woman with auburn hair and
a green dress, and the disappeared entirely. Obviously, she was
telling the truth.
Deadline
Oh, and as Robin impulsively extracts from Sir Hugh, there is a time
limit to this quest. She must be found by the twin's eighteenth
birthday – a mere four months away.
I actually find this a bit amusing, as I was fifteen when I wrote
this book. And while this sounds innocent enough, you must take into
consideration the fact that when I wrote The Ankulen, which
has a fifteen-year-old as a main character, when I was seventeen.
Interesting age swap there.
Queen Charlotte, however, is not amused. She doesn't like the idea of
her children facing the world on their own. King Alexander, however,
is willing to consider the option, and dismisses the court, giving
the twins to come see him later.
Robin at loose
ends.
And then they have to entertain themselves until later arrives. I
don't say what Robert does – though I'm sure, as level-headed and
resourceful as he is, he probably didn't get into any trouble. Robin,
however, heads straight to her room, gets out of the dress jewelry,
then finally gets her sword out of the tree – only to have it start
raining.
And here I find another continuity issue. I describe it as an “early
spring storm,” but counting back four months from June 12th,
the day I have since declared to be their birthday, it should be late
winter. Ah, well, maybe Bookania seasons are slightly ahead of ours …
They can go.
King Alexander is actually a pretty good dad and takes the twins
pretty seriously as people. As such, he gives the choice to them.
Both accept, Robert not as enthusiastically as his sister, but that's
Robert for you.
And then King Alexander tells them that not only that they may go,
but that he thinks that they should go alone – no servants or
knights or any other sort of companion. Not only that, but they
should be secretive about the affair – run away from home in the
middle of the night, if you will.
Robin is obviously thrilled. Running away from home has been
something she's wanted to do since she was little – as we'll see
later. However, I don't think she would actually have ever gone had
her father not given her permission here – or had her brother not
gone with her. Yes, she's impulsive and all that, but this is one of
the points where she's a lot like me. It's a very romantic idea, but
not one we'll ever carry out on our own. Too many uncertainties.
She knows her brother looks out for her, just as she looks out for
him. She's quite all right with that arrangement.
Favorite Lines:
“It’s not silly,” argued the
sewer. This was, by the way, an old argument between them. “I enjoy
watching the scenes I sew come to life under my needle.”
“It’s boring,” yawned Robin. “Now
swordplay…”
“Makes you lose your head,” the
sewer finished.
“No thank you,” said Robin. “But,
if it is, I’ll just challenge him to a swordfight, and that will be
the end of it.”
“Don’t get his sword stuck in the
ceiling,” cautioned Robert.
“Eric deserved that!” Robin
exclaimed, her eyes flashing again.
Putting his hand on his son’s
shoulder, King Alexander said, “Take care of her, Robert. Don’t
let her hothead carry her away.”
“I will,” promised Robert. “I
always have.”
King Alexander gave Robert’s shoulder
a squeeze as he said, “I know you will, thank you.” He smiled
warmly.
Discussion
Questions:
- Did the identities of the swordfitghter and sewer take your by surprise, or had you already figured it out? (Or had it been ruined by reading my blog or a review somewhere?)
- Who did you think this Eric would be and the connection to the sword?
- What's your favorite line?
Hmm, I didn't know that it was originally going to be a sequel to Sleeping Beauty! That's cool.
ReplyDeleteIn answer to your discussion questions...
1. I think I had read somewhere on your blog or someone else's that Robin and Robert's gifts were switched, so it wasn't a surprise to me. Plus, doesn't it say on the back of the book that their gifts were switched?
2. I don't think I really connected Eric and the sword until you explained it to the reader. I like that, though... it gives them more history than just "oh, he was a suitor once."
3. My favorite scene is probably the beginning, when Robin and Robert are using their gifts and the audience doesn't yet know which one is which. I really like how you wrote that out. The first chapter is very captivating. I like the various techniques you used throughout the book to reveal things to the reader.
I don't think I noticed any of the inconsistencies before you mentioned them. :)
ReplyDeleteI wasn't surprised by the identities of Robert and Robin, but I do like the technique you used of not using pronouns.
I think I connected Eric and the sword by assuming Eric was a suitor and Robin had bested him in a duel.
I'm not sure what my favorite line is. It's been so long since I've read it... I do like the scene where Robin and Eric are talking about her list.
~Robyn Hoode