I'm Shy ... That Makes me an Introvert, Right?

Everyone knows that friendly, outgoing people are all extroverts and the socially inept people hiding in corners and in their bedrooms are all introverts. And to an extent, that's true.

When strangers meet my sister and I, they will automatically label V as an extrovert and me the introvert. She's the one who'll walk up to a complete stranger and ask them anything and make a new friend in seconds ... while I hide behind her and try to gather the courage to say an awkward "Hi!"

But truth is, she's an introvert, and I'm an extrovert.

And when we tell people this, they don't often believe it.

But whether one is introverted or extroverted is not determined by how easy it is for them to talk to people, contrary to popular belief, but rather how much they NEED to talk to those people. In fact, it is my extroversion that makes me so shy.

You see, when I was a little kid, I was very outgoing. I could talk to anyone - and talk their ears off. And when V was little, she was possibly the clingiest baby there ever was. I have this insatiable need to talk to people, to connect and make new friends - and if you're my friend, you're my best friend. (I had at least five best friends at one point ...)

But I have an introvert mother, grammy, and younger sister. They drummed into me that talking to strangers is bad. Also, I soon learned that people judge by first impressions ... and their first impressions of my rambling on and and on about things that weren't important to them weren't very favorable. I sounded like an egomaniac. Or insane when I started rambling about my made up people in my stories. So I stopped talking. I pulled inward.

At the same time, my sister, being an introvert, is not as dependent upon other's opinions of her. She's a good listener, which is what other people want. She has a bright sunshine smile that just draws people to her. And she's not just any type of introvert, but an INFJ, the Myers-Briggs Counselor. And Counselors have this natural desire to draw people out, help them reach their full potential. But it drains her.

The real test of introvert/extrovert isn't how easy it is for them to talk to people - that's something that is learned. The real test is what they're like after they talk to people.

When I talk to people, no matter who they are, whether they're a new acquaintance or an old friend, I get an energy buzz that's akin to eating too much sugar. When V talks to someone, especially someone she doesn't know, it drains her energy.

Case in point, last Sunday was our church's annual fall fest. We had a huge party (around 70 people, which is a really good crowd for our church) and had fun talking, eating, and hopping around in burlap sacks. There were some new faces that various members had invited to the occasion. V, being her normal, friendly self, talked to most of them, showed them around, while I hung out with the little kids. (For some reason, I don't find little kids as intimidating as my own peers.) Once V had properly broken someone in, I would sneak up on them, she'd introduce me, and I'd talk to them some myself.

When we got home, V crashed almost immediately. (It didn't help that she had to go to work the next day. Yep, she's got a real job. While I'm stuck babysitting and writing books.) I on the other hand, bounced off the walls for some time, played some computer games, read a book, and some other stuff that I don't remember because I couldn't possibly go to sleep after talking to all of those people.

I think that's why I like all of you on the internet. I can stalk your blogs for some time, determine how similar your interests are to mine, and then comment on them to let you know of my presence. But those of you who do comment on my blog, and I comment on yours ... I consider all of you my best friend. Because I like people. People are awesome.

I just wish they weren't so scary.

Via Pinterest

3. Younger Hidden aren't usually allowed in human society. They are physically adult (even if they were babies in dragon form ... but in that case, they spend most of their time sleeping or eating), but they're still mentally children. And they're used to a more violent form of play.