Monday, October 28, 2013

I'm Shy ... That Makes me an Introvert, Right?

Everyone knows that friendly, outgoing people are all extroverts and the socially inept people hiding in corners and in their bedrooms are all introverts. And to an extent, that's true.

When strangers meet my sister and I, they will automatically label V as an extrovert and me the introvert. She's the one who'll walk up to a complete stranger and ask them anything and make a new friend in seconds ... while I hide behind her and try to gather the courage to say an awkward "Hi!"

But truth is, she's an introvert, and I'm an extrovert.

And when we tell people this, they don't often believe it.

But whether one is introverted or extroverted is not determined by how easy it is for them to talk to people, contrary to popular belief, but rather how much they NEED to talk to those people. In fact, it is my extroversion that makes me so shy.

You see, when I was a little kid, I was very outgoing. I could talk to anyone - and talk their ears off. And when V was little, she was possibly the clingiest baby there ever was. I have this insatiable need to talk to people, to connect and make new friends - and if you're my friend, you're my best friend. (I had at least five best friends at one point ...)

But I have an introvert mother, grammy, and younger sister. They drummed into me that talking to strangers is bad. Also, I soon learned that people judge by first impressions ... and their first impressions of my rambling on and and on about things that weren't important to them weren't very favorable. I sounded like an egomaniac. Or insane when I started rambling about my made up people in my stories. So I stopped talking. I pulled inward.

At the same time, my sister, being an introvert, is not as dependent upon other's opinions of her. She's a good listener, which is what other people want. She has a bright sunshine smile that just draws people to her. And she's not just any type of introvert, but an INFJ, the Myers-Briggs Counselor. And Counselors have this natural desire to draw people out, help them reach their full potential. But it drains her.

The real test of introvert/extrovert isn't how easy it is for them to talk to people - that's something that is learned. The real test is what they're like after they talk to people.

When I talk to people, no matter who they are, whether they're a new acquaintance or an old friend, I get an energy buzz that's akin to eating too much sugar. When V talks to someone, especially someone she doesn't know, it drains her energy.

Case in point, last Sunday was our church's annual fall fest. We had a huge party (around 70 people, which is a really good crowd for our church) and had fun talking, eating, and hopping around in burlap sacks. There were some new faces that various members had invited to the occasion. V, being her normal, friendly self, talked to most of them, showed them around, while I hung out with the little kids. (For some reason, I don't find little kids as intimidating as my own peers.) Once V had properly broken someone in, I would sneak up on them, she'd introduce me, and I'd talk to them some myself.

When we got home, V crashed almost immediately. (It didn't help that she had to go to work the next day. Yep, she's got a real job. While I'm stuck babysitting and writing books.) I on the other hand, bounced off the walls for some time, played some computer games, read a book, and some other stuff that I don't remember because I couldn't possibly go to sleep after talking to all of those people.

I think that's why I like all of you on the internet. I can stalk your blogs for some time, determine how similar your interests are to mine, and then comment on them to let you know of my presence. But those of you who do comment on my blog, and I comment on yours ... I consider all of you my best friend. Because I like people. People are awesome.

I just wish they weren't so scary.

Via Pinterest
3. Younger Hidden aren't usually allowed in human society. They are physically adult (even if they were babies in dragon form ... but in that case, they spend most of their time sleeping or eating), but they're still mentally children. And they're used to a more violent form of play.


  1. strange but true. I had also spent five long days at work and was completely drained at that. I love people. I love working with them, figuring them out, and helping them learn new things.

    I have more friends than Kendra but fact of the matter is, I am the introvert. If I have two hours to do what ever I wanted to. I will either, pick up my violin and lock the door and practice, Hide behind a horse and groom it, or watch a video. All of them I am completely alone. I am constantly, when I am around people studying and trying to find out what makes them tick. But when I am tired I promise you I will start running into people simply because I do not have the energy to pay attention to you anymore.

  2. I'm a blend of both personalities. More introverted than extroverted, but I'm definitely some of both. There are days when I'm just exhausted after a social event and I just want to go watch or read something. And other days I'm energized and have to go write or hike to settle myself down.

    *hugs you* You're a great person to have as a friend and I'm so glad to have met you!!

    *grin* I know the feeling. People can be really scary sometimes. :D

  3. Interesting. I tend to label myself an "outgoing introvert." I like talking to people. I really love hanging out with my friends and people that I know. I even enjoy meeting new people, to a point. Talking to new people often terrifies and wears me out. I'm perfectly content to stay at home and read a book. Sometimes being around people gives me energy, sometimes it drains me completely. :)

    But then, I'm totally weird. On the Meyers-Briggs test, I scored either a 49% or a 51% on just about every single letter. When people talk about the "4 animal" personality types, I usually score about the same on all 4. LOL I guess I just defy classification!

  4. Very nice post. I enjoyed reading it... it's so interesting to step back and take a look at the differences of intro/extroverts every once in awhile.
    I can't quite decide which I am... though I'm leaning more towards the extrovert side. It kind of depends who I'm with and what we're doing.

  5. That's...interesting. How are they "not allowed," since humans don't know and the Hidden mostly stay away from each other?
    the writeress || barefoot in the snow

    1. I think I may have worded 11 badly ... Hidden do group together, groups just aren't made of Hidden who had known each other well as dragons. Occasionally clutch-mates will band together, but it isn't often. HOWEVER, younger Hidden are almost always kept with their parents until they mature. For instance, Aoril is Bark and Ivy's father. For the most part, Hidden stay out of human society, but when it is necessary (when they need to buy supplies, for instance), they leave the younger members of the band outside the town/city/whatever with one of the adults to watch them.

    2. Ohhh, okay. So they pretty much form their own towns/villages and stay there, just not necessarily with Hidden they'd known before. It kind of reminds me of people like, say, the gypsies or people who traveled west before it was "tamed."

      Ah, that makes sense, then (about the children). Thanks for explaining!

    3. Gypsies. I like that description. They don't stay put. There are one or two settlements where they take the very young Hidden who do nothing but sleep, and a few of the Hidden stay to guard them, but for the most part the groups, or bands as they call themselves, travel the country hunting the Wyrmen.

    4. Neat! I like that. I like gypsies. Who are the Wyrmen? (Sorry if you've said this in a post somewhere... I'm afraid I fell behind, after all. And I'm sure I meant to say indians up there, not the... immigrants? Anywho.)

    5. Analyssa talked about them in the interview she had on Robyn Hoode's blog. They're something of cousins to the dragons, but fallen. They have no hope of redemption, and they're dangerous, both physically and spiritually, so the Hidden make it their business to get rid of them, since the humans no longer help them. (There was a time when humans and dragons worked together)

    6. Oh, yah, I remember that, now!

  6. Found one!

    ~Robyn Hoode


Hi! Now that you've read my post, hast thou any opinions that thou wouldst like to share? I'd love to hear them!

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