Sometimes I wonder ...

Two weeks ago, I published my fourth book. I was on top of the world and nothing could stop me. I had received wonderful feedback from all of my beta readers, be they family, friends, or near-strangers. Even my mom admitted that it was a good book ...

But then only four people showed up for the blog party.

I wasn't too upset, there were plenty of people who had expressed interest in the weeks leading up ... so I still had potential readers, didn't I? I couldn't always have a smashing success of a book party ... maybe I just chose a bad day.

But two weeks passed ... and I'll let ya'll in on a little secret ... not a single copy of the book has sold. No one has bought a paperback, or snagged it on kindle. The giveaways of my first three books were a smashing success, not my best giveaways, but the number wasn't puny, either. I've even sold two kindle copies of Take since then ...

But no one has bought The Ankulen.

Maybe I spend too much time watching my KDP ... but I try to only pull it up once a day.

I've never dreamed of becoming rich off my writing, I've never even dreamed of becoming famous (though that would be really cool). I write because I like to go on adventures, and I publish because I'm presumptuous enough to think that others would like to go on my adventures with me. But I like to see sales, too. I'm a people person, which is a rare thing for authors, I've learned, so I like to hear feedback from my readers.

I suppose that sales of Take should be high, the fact that it's a sequel is a built-in promotion ...

But there are days when I wonder ...

Am I doing this right?
What am I doing wrong?
Should I even be doing this at all?
Maybe I should give up this whole authoring business and focus on my knitting business. At least I know I'm good at knitting.

And then, to make maters worse, I start comparing myself to other authors. Sew has only three reviews on Amazon ... and Annabeth's War, by Jessica Greyson has 25 ... and Sew's been out way longer. People ship (reader talk for pairing up fictional characters, often romatically, somtimes not) Jack's characters, but the only time I've had anyone do that for me, they were trying to pair up Arthur and Madeleine ... (And as the readers of that book know, not only is she already betrothed, but A and M are very closely related)

When I published Sew, it was only my second book to reach the words "the end." The only other book I'd ever finished was book two of my Rizkaland Legends. Why was I so presumptuous as to think that I was ready to publish? And why that book? The first in a series that I had (and still have) no end in sight for? What made me think that I could keep it up? Sure, I had stuck with Rizkaland for five years, rewriting book two in play format three times and I had just finished the prose format, but I could never get through that book without making a HUGE change half-way through and deciding that I needed to rewrite it again.

Maybe I should have made myself rewrite Sew. I've rewritten every single other book I've written at least once, preferably twice. (Or four times) Okay, so I haven't rewritten Infiltration yet, but I plan to.

Maybe I did something wrong in the promotion. Before I published Sew, I did talk about my writing, but this was more of a blog for my school work. I even wrote and published some poetry. I didn't try to build a readership.

But I've published Sew, it's selling pretty well, and receiving good ratings on both Amazon and Goodreads ...  and Take is selling REALLY well and is receiving even better ratings.

I AM an author, an indie author, but an author all the same. I write books, I finish them eventually, I rewrite them, and then I publish them.

And I do hear feedback from my readers. They like what I write. They're begging me to finish and publish Kingdom. Currently, it's sitting next to me and I'm writing the scene where Eric discovers the depth of Robin's childhood hatred of him. I also have Worth of a King up on the computer and I just introduced a character who will be very important. I need to pull up and work on my short stories ... maybe once I finish writing this blog post.

I may have my doubts some days, but they don't change anything. They don't change the fact that I love my characters. They don't change my love of the written word, the scratch of my pencil against paper, the tapping of my fingers on my keyboard (And BlackViolet has the loveliest tappy keyboard). It doesn't change the fact that I DO have readers who DO tell me that they like my books.

I'm an author. Nothing will change that.

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Okay, I'm done being sappy and inspirational, and ready to be serious. I do need more reviews, since they are what sells books. If you are willing to read and review any of my books, particularly the short story collection and The Ankulen, email me (See my FAQ page or the "Contact Me" page on my Official Website) and I'll send you the PDF file that went into the print version, or the word file if you want to read on your kindle. If you are a "physical books only" person, I can give you a 20% discount. (For Take and Ankulen. The other two I already have their prices lowered as far as they'll go).

Please note, I'll only send you one book at a time (as incentive to make you read my book), and I would prefer it if you post your review at least two places, and three would be wonderful (Amazon, your blog, goodreads, shelfari, there are many places to review my books)

So ... bon appetite, and feel free to share the fact that I'm giving away books for review. The more reviews I get, the more readers I can attract!

Oh, and speaking of free books, "The Prior Quest" is currently free for kindle. If you're wondering if you should read this lovely little story or not, here's a review to convince you that you should.

Also, I'm looking for interviews. If you are interested in having my face on your blog. I might be able to put together a guest post, but you'll have to give me a topic. Otherwise it'll just be gibberish. If you'd like, we can do an interview swap and I'll interview you here on my blog. If you have a book, I could also review it on the O.Scarlett blog ... but we do have a backlog there (thank-you life for becoming fun) so it may be a while before I get to your book.