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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Down in a Manger

(sung to tune of "Up on a Housetop")

Down in a Manger in Bethlehem
Do you hear the angel's hymn?
There is a Baby born today
His name is Jesus, hip, hip, hooray!

Chorus:
Oh, oh, oh, who might have known
Oh, oh, oh, who might have known.
That this little boy would die on a cross
Just to save a world that's lost

Fist come the shepherds who heard the song
Now they start to sing along
There they stand, their eyes are wide.
Jesus Christ be glorified.

Repeat Chorus

Next come the Wise Men from afar
Following the heavenly star
With gold, frankincense, and myrrh
Jesus Christ they bow before

Repeat Chorus

Jesus Christ is Coming Again

(tune "Santa Clause is Coming to Town")


You better watch out
Believe and not lie
You better not doubt
I'm telling you why
Jesus Christ is coming again

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows when you've been bad or good
So believe for Jesus' sake

He's making a list
Checking it Twice
Gonna find out who's
In the Lamb's Book of Life
Jesus Christ is coming again.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Thankful Thursday

I have decided to do thankful Thursdays.

I didn't, however, know what I was going to write about today until about fifteen minutes ago when one of my younger cousins ran in the house with the exclamation of "Kendra, your package is here!"

I didn't know I was getting a package.

Let me back up here. A few months ago, I entered a Haiku contest, on a site called http://thedeliberateagrarian.blogspot.com/. After it finished, I didn't look very hard at it, and didn't think I won.

Actually, I did.

I won first place in the teen category. My prize was a set of two Pie Irons. They're for cooking sandwiches and other things over a campfire.


I'm thankful for them. They are so cool!!


Oh, and I just learned that today is Friday.

Well, I'll have to get on a better schedule.

Anyways, here's the winning haiku

Chopping tomatoes
Straight from the garden outside
I'll do peppers next

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Alexander the Great

Tammy: Hey Folks! Welcome to The Past Times. I’m you’re host, Tammy Turnback. Today, on our show, we have a very famous general from ancient Greece, Alexander the Great!

Alexander: The one and only!

Tammy: You led your army all over the known world, made them brave ice covered mountains, scorching desserts, and bloody battles, I have one question, what were you thinking?

Alexander: I wanted to conquer the world, and I did.

Tammy: Well almost all the world.

Alexander: Yes, my men were such wimps!

Tammy: And you named every city you established after yourself, Alexandria!

Alexander: Except for one. I named the last one after my horse, Bucephalus. The city was in India and I named it Bucephala.

Tammy: But the most famous was in Egypt.

Alexander: Egypt was also the easiest place to fight too. All I had to do was go into the temple of Ra, get proclaimed the son of Ra, and I was Pharaoh.

Tammy: The story that you were the son of a god didn’t start in Egypt, did it?

Alexander: No, my mom, Olympias, got mad at my dad, Philip II of Macedonia, because he wasn’t being true to her, so she came up with the story that Zeus had visited her in a lightning bolt and that he was my real dad.

Tammy: Wow! Do you believe it?

Alexander: It made it easier for me to conquer the world, that’s for sure!

Tammy: How did you get your horse, Bucephalus?

Alexander: When I was about ten, Dad was looking for a horse to buy, and was looking at Bucephalus, however would not let anyone mount him. I was there with them and soon figured out the problem.

Tammy: What was it?

Alexander: I’m getting there; I told my dad that if I could mount, he would he would have to pay me the price of the horse.

Tammy: What did he say?

Alexander: If I broke my neck, I would have to pay him the price of the horse. I went up to Bucephalus and after turning his face toward the sun, mounted him with ease.

Tammy: But what was the problem?

Alexander: The horse was afraid of his own shadow. The thing spooked him out the wazoo.

Tammy: Oh that’s funny!

Alexander: And I won! Afterwards, he was always the horse I rode into war.

Tammy: What kind of schooling did you have as a child?

Alexander: Only the best! When I was seven, dad got Leonidas. Boy, was he strict! He thought my luxurious lifestyle would make me lazy and spoiled. He had me march for miles at night, to make me hungry for breakfast, and when breakfast came, he gave me almost nothing. He would even search my room to make sure I hadn’t hidden any food there!

Tammy: Did you like him?

Alexander: Not his view of food, but he did teach me some vital battle skills, I am grateful for that.

Tammy: Was he your only teacher?

Alexander: No, later on dad invited Aristotle to Pella to teach me and a bunch of my friends.

Tammy: Pella?

Alexander: The capital city of Macedonia

Tammy: What did Aristotle teach you?

Alexander: Literature, philosophy, law… My favorite subject was science. Later, when I was on my battle expeditions, I brought scientists along. They made maps and collected samples of plants and animals. They also kept detailed records of things we saw on our travels.

Tammy: What did you do in your free time?

Alexander: I rode horses, practiced music, and went hunting.

Tammy: Anything else?

Alexander: Not that I can remember.

Tammy: So Aristotle was your favorite teacher?

Alexander: Of course, the two of us never lost touch.

Tammy: Did you have any other lasting friendships?

Alexander: Oh yes, I had several. My best friend was Hephaestion; he later went along with me on most of my travels.

Tammy: When was your first taste of war?

Alexander: That would have been in 338 BC, Bucephelus and I led the cavalry against the Thebans. At the same time Dad was leading the infantry against the Athenians.

Tammy: Did you win?

Alexander: Both city-states were soon defeated.

Tammy: How did the other city-states react?

Alexander: The next year they made an agreement with us. We promised that if one of us needed help, the others would help. The Spartans were the only ones who refused to agree. Dad was now the leader of the combined army of almost all of Greece!

Tammy: Did you like it?

Alexander: I would often complain that if my dad kept up at the rate he was conquering the world, there would soon be nothing for me to defeat.

Tammy: Well, you still found plenty to fight on your own.

Alexander: It helped that he died young though.

Tammy: What happened?

Alexander: For a while after our victories, Dad and I got along fairly well, but then he met Cleopatra.

Tammy: Didn’t she live after your time?

Alexander: wrong Cleopatra. Mom and I didn’t like her, but Dad decided he wanted to marry her. Rulers did that back then. Mom and I left Pella for a year, and not long after we came back, Dad was assassinated.

Tammy: By who?

Alexander: By one of his trusted bodyguards.

Tammy: And you became king?

Alexander: That’s right. The rest of Greece tried to rebel at that point, but I soon showed him who was boss.

Tammy: And then you conquered the world.

Alexander: I did.

Tammy: Some of the kings you treated differently from others. Why?

Alexander: Depended on how they handled the defeat. Darius ran away, so I treated him as the dog he was. Porus, the Indian king, asked to be treated “as a king”, so I let him rule over a large section of my empire.

Tammy: After you defeated the Persians, you started acting as Darius had. Why?

Alexander: It was more fun. However I accidentally killed some of my closer friends while drunk when they tried to rebuke me.

Tammy: But … they were your friends!

Alexander: I know; I felt terrible afterwards, but my point was made.

Tammy: Don’t mess with the king.

Alexander: Exactly.

Tammy: You also married three Persian girls.

Alexander: Roxanne was the only one who produced an heir, and the child wasn’t born until after my death.

Tammy: That brings up the question, why did you die.

Alexander: Old wounds … some people think I had contracted Malaria.

Tammy: but in any case, you died.

Alexander: And my friends split my kingdom up. Just as those Jews said they would.

Tammy: Jews?

Alexander: Seams that they had had a prophet named Daniel who had had a vision in which he saw all the major world rulers. It sounded good so I used the symbol they had associated with me as my own from then on.

Tammy: And they gave up without a fight?

Alexander: They did.

Tammy: Well it looks as if that’s all the time we have for today. I’m your host, Tammy Turnback, this has The Past Times, and we have had the famous Greek General, Alexander the Great!

Alexander: Thank you, thank you, thank you very much!


Written 10/21/2009

Babel News

Babel news is a news station run by two brothers, Gether, and Enosh.

Gether: Hello folks, fellow laborers on our magnificent Tower. Today we are having a few, minor delays. It appears that a few people have started to talk nonsense. Let’s not, however let it stand in the way of our Tower. We’ve been at the jobs so long, of course we can just keep doing it without talking. I’ve managed to get here, even though everyone at the studio is talking funny. If you run into one of the oddballs who are insisting on talking weird, use sign language, isn’t that right, Enosh?

Enosh: Gether, I think you’re exaggerating a bit.

Gether: why, you don’t think it’s a problem at all?

Enosh: no, I think it’s a worse problem than you think. It isn’t just a few oddballs, almost everyone is talking funny. Don’t you remember why we’re building the tower?

Gether: sure, so we can survive a flood, should there be another one.

Enosh: Why did we have the first flood?

Gether: Because… because of global waterfalling, but we haven’t seen any abnormal signs of it.

Enosh: Because God didn’t like what the people were doing, remember?

Gether: no, global waterfalling.

Enosh: If God was strong enough to cover the whole earth with water, Don’t you think he could mix up our speech?

Gether: Oh no, I think we’re all out of time. Remember, if you can’t understand someone, use sign language!

The Oak’s Story



I’m an old oak tree. I am the only one left of my age, let me tell you my story.
The first thing I remember is being pushed up through the soil. Unlike all the trees that have grown since then, I grew from the earth itself, not from a seed. I grew at the words of God himself. I grew fast, so fast that I was many, many feet tall in a mater of minutes! As my roots dug deeper into the soil, I realized that it was dry, not muddy, as one would expect for the water having only just being confined to the seas.
There was a warmth on my leaves that I later discovered was called light. There was no sun, for it came from God Himself. Its goldenness kissed my leaves as I began photosynthesis for the first time.
Don’t think I was alone! There were other trees, some taller than I am. There were flowers of all colors, blues, pinks, reds, yellows, oranges, and purple dotted the area all around me. Where there weren’t flowers or other trees, there bushes or grass.
The only sound around me was that of the wind in our leaves. There were no mice scurrying around my roots, and there were no birds singing in my branches. No animal had been created yet. On day three of creation, there were only us plants.
Via Pinterest
8. Though most of their scales are burned away when they take on Hidden form, some remain in the form of armor, which they wear most of the time. They'll don other clothes when they enter a human village or town, however.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Sew, It's a Quest - Chapter 1

So here it is. The chapter I promised you the other day.

Chapter 1

The Question of a Quest

  Once upon a time, in a land called Bookania, there lived the Locksley twins, a prince and a princess. These twins had a garden they considered theirs, and to it they would retreat whenever the prying eyes of the court and people became tiresome to them, as was quite often the case. One would retreat to the garden to sew and would turn out some of the most amazing tapestries. The other would go to the garden to do sword practice routines that would leave most others quickly gasping in the dust.
  And so were they both doing at the start of my story. The sewer sat before a large tapestry frame, a lovely forest scene slowly forming under the quickly darting ivory needle. The fighter was performing one of the more difficult of the practice routines, and, so far, wasn’t missing one step.
  “Be careful,” the sewer cautioned, as the fighter did a back flip that brought the sword a bit too close to the tapestry for the sewer’s comfort.
  “You know I always am,” said the fighter, vaulting into another back flip. However, this broke the fighter’s concentration, and the sword was thrown too high and imbedded itself in the tree that was at the end of the back flip. “I meant to do that,” said the fighter, trying to cover the rare mistake.
  “I’m sure,” said the sewer. 
  The other wasn’t paying attention. With an exaggerated sigh, the fighter flopped down at the sewer’s feet. Gazing up at the back of the tapestry, Robin thought of how their lives were not unlike that tangled, twisted surface.
  “It’s not fair,” Robin complained. “Swordplay’s my life! Father can’t make me stop!” This not getting response from the sewer, Robin continued, “Not that you care, all you care about is that silly needle.”
  “It’s not silly,” argued the sewer. This was, by the way, an old argument between them. “I enjoy watching the scenes I sew come to life under my needle.”
  “It’s boring,” yawned Robin. “Now swordplay…”
  “Makes you lose your head,” the sewer finished.
  “Robert!” Robin hissed, rolling onto her stomach to glare at her brother. He just calmly watched his rapidly darting needle, seeming to take no notice of her reaction. With an exasperated sigh, Robin rolled over and began mutilating a blade of grass. “It’s all her fault,” she said after a period of thought, and speaking of their Fairy Godmother. “She should have gotten our gifts right in the first place.”
  Not only were their gifts, as far as they could tell at least, mixed up, they were the first two they knew of to have a Fairy Godmother in years. The fairies were strange, mysterious beings, rumored to exist, yet over the years, sightings of them had become less and less frequent until they were all but forgotten. No one was even sure how many fairies there were. Some said two, others four. One particularly old story spoke of a princess who had seven Fairy Godmothers, but she had disappeared mysteriously years ago, so nothing good came of it.
  “Don’t worry,” said Robert. “I’m sure the emissary will be back any day now.”
  “You’ve said that practically every day for the last six months,” Robin pointed out with a roll of her eyes. She threw down the scraps of grass, and stood up. Gazing up at the tree her sword was stuck in, she commented, “Looks like I have a climb ahead of me.”
  Robert glanced up at the sword for the briefest second. “Well, at least Father won’t have to worry about it falling on some courier or ambassador’s head,” he said.
  “At least Father doesn’t make me wear skirts anymore,” Robin said with a bit of an edge in her voice. “Can you imagine trying to climb a tree in a dress?”
  For the first time since the conversation began the needle actually paused. “Uh, no,” said Robert, “not really.” But then as the needle resumed its swift speed, “Well actually, I can. I did wear your skirts for about six months, if you’ll remember right.”
  “Those were the days,” said Robin, “back when we weren’t considered completely crazy.”
  “You did have to go and give us away,” said Robert.
  “They were laughing at you!” Robin exclaimed. “Oh!” Her eyes flashed as she swung herself up into the tree, then she added, “Besides, I really doubt that our ploy would work anymore. We have grown up a bit since we were six.”
  The two of them were almost identical, the difference being that Robin was a girl, and Robert was a guy. They both had the same brown hair, although Robin’s was quite a bit longer, the same brown eyes, and the same olive complexions. Even now, it was impossible to mistake the two of them for anything but brother and sister.
  “I’ll say,” agreed Robert.
  There was a sudden, distant, trumpet blast, that startled them off of the topic.
  “Do you think that’s him?” Robin asked, swinging instinctively down from the tree.
  “Can’t be sure,” said Robert. “Which him are you talking about? You have so many – .”
  Robin cut him off with a glare, “The emissary,” she said, through almost clenched teeth. “Sir Hugh.”
  “Oh!” said Robert, Robin recognized his teasing voice. “I thought you were talking about one of your suitors. Are you sure you don’t want it to be one of them?”
  “No thank you,” said Robin. “But, if it is, I’ll just challenge him to a swordfight, and that will be the end of it.”
  “Don’t get his sword stuck in the ceiling,” cautioned Robert.
  “Eric deserved that!” Robin exclaimed, her eyes flashing again. Then after some thought she said, “I don’t see why they have to pick on me, though. There are other princesses.”
  “You’re a challenge,” said Robert. “I think there’s a rumor going around that you’ll marry the first man to best you in a duel.”
  “As if that will ever happen,” said Robin with a roll of her eyes. “But, you know, I have better things to do with my time than fighting off those annoying princes and those irritating young lords.”
  “You are such a girl,” said Robert with a grin and a shake of his head.
  “You are such a boy,” returned Robin with a roll of her eyes.
  “Thank you,” said Robert.
Just then they heard the trumpets again, only this time they sounded closer. “How long do you think we have until they get here?” Robin asked.
  The needle paused as Robert considered. “I’d say about thirty minutes,” he announced as the needle resumed its progress.
  “Then I’d better get in,” Robin remarked. “Meg always has a time of it turning me from sword maiden to princess. I’ll give her as much time as possible.”
  “I thought you – ,” Robert began, but Robin was already gone. He shook his head and began putting the tapestry frame away. He didn’t want it to get ruined in the off-chance of an early spring storm. As he left the garden, he gave the sword a glance and shook his head. He hoped Robin wouldn’t forget about it.
  Thirty minutes later, Robin stood in their father’s throne room, leaning against one of the many enormous tapestries that covered practically every wall in the castle. She was now wearing a long dark blue satin dress, well embellished with sky blue lace. Her hair was done up in an elegant twist, much better than her own haphazard knots, and decorated with a silver and sapphire tiara that flaunted her status as a princess.  She wore a silver bracelet on each wrist, and a silver and sapphire necklace around her neck. The heavy sapphire earrings were what really bugged her, but they couldn’t be helped. Her hands were clasped tightly in front of her to keep her from fidgeting.
  Beside her stood an equally bedecked Robert – although he didn’t have to wear annoying earrings. However, unlike her, he was completely calm. Easy for him, Father wasn’t trying to marry him off to every suitor that came into the castle – not that suitors came for him…
  King Alexander and Queen Charlotte sat upon their thrones, looking regal and royal, as all kings and queens ought.
  The doors at the end of the room opened, and with a trumpet fanfare, in came a man. Robin recognized him to be Sir Hugh, the emissary they had sent out six months before.
  “You have returned,” said King Alexander. “What news do you bring?”
For the next hour, Sir Hugh gave a detailed account of his travels and trials, according to proper protocol. Robin found herself fidgeting, rolling her eyes, and barely containing her exasperated sighs, as both her mother and father inquired after each and every minute detail.
  Robin had completely stopped listening, and was contemplating the sword stuck in the ceiling, the one directly over Sir Hugh’s head – not that there were any other swords stuck in the ceiling… 
  Robert’s elbow nudged her discretely from her reverie.
  “Yes sir,” Sir Hugh was saying, “all she asked for was food. Even had I not had plenty, I would not have turned her away. I urged her to eat her fill.”
  “You ever were such the compassionate soul,” gushed Queen Charlotte.
Sir Hugh blushed and continued, “After the old woman finished eating, she told me that she was, in fact, a fairy!”
  “You were successful?” cried King Alexander.
  “Not completely so,” said Sir Hugh, “for she told me then that she wasn’t the Fairy Godmother of the Prince and Princess.”
  “But it is a greater success than any of the other emissaries previous,” said Queen Charlotte approvingly.
“Yes,” said Sir Hugh, “for she then told me that the fairy we seek is named Fallona, and that, should they truly wish their gifts switched, they would have to seek her themselves on their own quest.”
  “But they’re only children!” exclaimed Queen Charlotte. Robin rolled her eyes.
  “That is what the fairy told me,” answered Sir Hugh.
  “Are you sure it was a fairy?” Queen Charlotte asked suspiciously.
  “I am,” answered Sir Hugh, “for when we finished speaking, she first turned into a beautiful young woman, with green eyes, auburn hair, and clad in a flowing green dress. Then she disappeared completely from my sight.”
  “Did she say anything else!” blurted Robin, forgetting herself.
  “Yes,” said Sir Hugh, “she said that the prince and princess would have to have the quest completed before their eighteenth birthday, for once they turn eighteen their gifts will no longer be able to be switched.”
  “But that’s only four months away!” exclaimed King Alexander.
  “I only repeat what the fairy told me,” said Sir Hugh.
  “It will take us three, maybe four weeks, at least, to get a proper entourage together,” exclaimed Queen Charlotte, wringing her hands. Robin rolled her eyes. Trust their mother to get overworked on such a simple affair as a quest.
  Looking directly at the twins, King Alexander said, “I will consider the matter. Children, see me in my office this evening at eight o’clock and I will tell you what I decide.”
  “Yes sir,” said Robin and Robert together, then the two of them were dismissed.
  Robin went straight for her room, to rid herself of the annoying skirt and jewelry. This done, she headed outside to the garden. Remembering the sword, she retrieved it with the intent of finishing the practice routine interrupted earlier.
  However, no sooner had her feet hit the ground than the threatening spring storm let loose. Robin now had to entertain herself inside which was such a bother. At least she didn’t have etiquette lessons today. Oh, how she hated those!
  Absentmindedly, she wandered over to the library to research the best ways to go about a quest. Slowly the hours eked by and eight o’clock finally came around. She and Robert met at the door of their father’s office and were shown in by one of his personal guards.
  “There you two are,” said King Alexander, standing as they entered. Robin had her hands clasped tightly behind her back, what had their Father decided? Would he let them go?
  Placing an arm around each of their shoulders, he led them to a window overlooking the palace gates. “I have considered the matter,” he continued, “but first, do the two of you want to go on the quest?”
  “Oh yes!” Robin exclaimed, turning and grabbing his large hand in both of hers. “Oh, Please Father, please let us go!” Robert, on the other hand, just nodded, not being as enthusiastic as her about things like this.
  “Very well then,” said King Alexander smiling at his over exuberant daughter and overly calm son. “Here is what I have decided. Take some money, and get yourselves some horses, and whatever else you might need for this quest, and you may leave as soon as you are ready, for I feel that the success of your venture is dependent on your going alone. However, don’t tell your mother, you know her nerves. I personally have no fear for your safety as Robin has been able to fight off every young man that has come to the castle.” The look on his face showed he wasn’t amused, causing Robin to fidget a bit. “Does that sound satisfactory to you?”
  “Oh, yes!” cried Robin, throwing herself into her father’s chest and giving him a huge hug. King Alexander returned his daughter’s hug and she dashed out of the room.
  “Thank you Father,” said Robert, much calmer.
  Putting his hand on his son’s shoulder, King Alexander said, “Take care of her, Robert. Don’t let her hothead carry her away.”
  “I will,” promised Robert. “I always have.”
  King Alexander gave Robert’s shoulder a squeeze as he said, “I know you will, thank you.” He smiled warmly. 


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